I am much better at Twittering than I am at actual blogging. I know that people read my twitter updates, and I don't think that anyone reads the blog updates. I guess that having an audience is kind of a motivator for updating. Honestly though, I haven't really had the time to sit down and think of anything to write. My life has been hectic, so twittering quick little updates has fit better, my mind seems to only be able to think one or two sentence thoughts.
School is rough. I wish that I would have gone to college after high school, like everyone else. I swear, I must have the only parents in the world that would discourage college. When I started college in 1998, I was working full time, taking classes part time, had a two year old and was in an unhappy marriage. The cards were stacked against me. I quit after two semesters. The next attempt was spring of this year. I am still working full time, but now my daughter is 12 and my marriage is wonderful. I have taken 5 classes this year. Not much, but a good start. It just struck me now that my break from school was exactly 10 years. Hmm...I wonder if I knew that on some level and it influenced my timing on going back....
I was not prepared for the intensity of being a student. Learning has always been easy for me. I pick up on things, I remember things and I have an inquizitive mind. It turns out though, that learning things on a tight schedule is more difficult than learning things on your own time. Not everything I am gong to learn in school is going to be interesting either. When I was learning things on my own, they either applied to me directly or related to an interest that I have.
I don't know if this school thing is for me. I want to have a degree, but I don't want it to get a better job. I don't want a career. I don't want to be an expert in any one field. I just want to be well rounded and know for myself that I achieved something. So, should I be spending the money on this? I want Ashley to be proud of me. But she could be proud of me for other reasons. I just don't know what to do. Help.