Saturday, September 27, 2008

It's my life.

I am 31 years old and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Obviously, I am a mother first and foremost, but Ashley is 12 1/2 years old. She is naturally starting to spend less time with us and more time doing school activities and being with her friends. In 6 years, she will, Gods willing, be away at college and at that point, a huge part of my life is over. I will always be a parent, but it won't be such a hands on type of parenting.
I have been thinking a lot lately about MY life, about who I am aside from being a mom. That is the reason why I have started college (again). I want to be something, to have an identity, a category that I fall into.
So, I started this IT program at MATC and a general Liberal Arts program at Excelsior. Pretty lofty goal, I know, to be pursuing two degrees at two seperate schools. Now that I am in the IT program, actually learning the trade, I am not sure that I want a degree in IT. It is nice as a hobby, but I really don't want to work on computers every day. I have thought about getting the Admin Asst degree, but that seems too generic and maybe a bit beneath what I could be. I would love to get into Broadcast Captioning, but I can't type 180 wpm and if I tried, my carpal tunnel would kill by the end of the day. I have thought about being a vet tech, but have always be so allergic. I am now having the immunotherapy, so my allergies should be getting better. Maybe I will consider that. There are so many options out there, so much that I want to learn, but so little that I really want to consider as a career. Maybe I will just live my life working at mediocre jobs by day and going to school by night. I just don't know. I wish I had a calling.

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