Wednesday, December 19, 2012

It's one of those nights

Have you ever been too sad to go to bed? I hadn't been, until tonight.

I'll share what is on my mind, maybe getting the sad out of my head and onto this blog will help.

An old friend is at home with his wife and daughter waiting to die of brain cancer. This makes me think of other friends that I have lost in the last few years. Pat, Russ, Glenda, Carson and Jere have been on my mind these past few days. Russ and Glenda each left behind children, and Pat will leave behind a daughter.

The Newtown, CT shooting last week took so many innocent lives. This tragedy inevitably bring guns to mind. I have known two teen boys who took their lives with guns that were easily accessible to them in their homes.Would they still be dead if they didn't have those guns at their fingertips?

I'm also thinking of another young life that was lost just a few months ago, Avery. She died in a car accident, her teenage sister was driving the car. This family has so much healing to do and so many mixed emotions. I cannot imagine the pain.

A close friend who is a cancer survivor is waiting to find out if she has cancer again. Now, because of the coming snowstorm, she has to wait even longer to go back in to find out her fate.

My husband's employer is laying off 600 people. We don't know if he will be one of them. If he loses his job and we can't make up the income, we will sink. We know that he could find a job somewhere and we are prepared for the possibility that we may both have to have second jobs, but living like that will wear on our relationship and our family. It's hard to not know what the next few months hold.

One of my teachers from Junior High just passed away. My mind wanders back to that time in my life and I miss Glenda even more.

As I sit on my cozy couch, in front of my wood stove with my laptop, my husband and daughter nearby, I should be overcome with gratitude for all of the blessings that I have. I know that, but tonight my mind is stubbornly dwelling on the losses.

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